Boo-Hoo

Yesterday, I tried to help a coworker edit her bridesmaid’s speech for her little sister’s wedding. Her first stab was sweet and heartfelt and emotional (apparently, she cried during her practice run in front of 15 friends), which, to me, is most of what a toast to your baby sister’s triumphs should be. I think my friend was expecting her professional copywriter (cue scary, Psycho-style music and, perhaps, stabbing motions), to bash, slay, and dissect her earnest words.

I found her toast, written just as she would have charmingly said it to one close friend, a room full of acquaintances, or a stranger in a bar, to be an earnest and thoughtful speech about her clearly deep, altruistic love for both her sister and the man she has chosen to be her groom.

First and foremost, mazel tov to Dane and Katie.

Secondly, I thought this would be a good opportunity to raise my own premature glass to my personal muse, the girl/woman whom I think the most of in this entirely confused and misguided world.

(Mom, you should probably get your tissues ready now, or stop reading. Your choice.)

I have wanted you in my life since I was able to recognize that people other than me existed. (That took longer than you might expect, so don’t be too flattered.)

From then on, I always wanted a baby just like me (read: blond-haired, blue-eyed, and FABULOUS). But I was even luckier in that the gods of genealogy (thanks, Dr. Mendel) gave me something even more amazing: You.

You are just like me, but yet not at all. You are sarcastic and witty, but small and delicate. You are self-deprecating, yet feisty beyond words. You are everything that I hoped you’d be, so much more than I envisioned, and many things that I wish I was.

I have no doubts that you’ll achieve everything that you have in mind: with, without, or in spite of my help.

That said, I would lay down on tracks for you, swim shark-infested waters for you, and take another job at Advante for you. (Really, I would if you asked, but please … just don’t.)

You are someone that I am amazed by daily and someone to whom I can’t wait to introduce to my eventual children.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, regardless of who I meet and who I end up with in the long-term, we’re-together-forever-altogether-creepy-kind-of-way.

You are more important to me than you’ll ever know.

(Stop crying, Mom.)