Verizon's Covert Ops Force

Upon a morning jaunt the other day, I caught sight of possibly the strangest vehicle I have seen as of late, excluding only, maybe, the Fan's Ugly Truck. I broke many state and national laws as I careened down the hill, eager to capture the curiosity on film (on my Christmas present, a digital camera that I have taken to keeping in my purse in case any hilarity arises that demands to be recorded for all eternity; say, a celebrity sighting, or perhaps a dog in a funny hat).

This particular vehicle was a large, dingy, used-to-be-white shipping truck with no discernible branding, signage, or contact information of any kind. I'm fairly certain that it had to be used for an occupation of some sort, as it was much too large to be a personal mode of transport, unless of course, we're talking about that creepy Christian family from The Discovery Channel.

The two burly men occupying the front seats certainly seemed as though they were headed to a job of some type, except that the truck was utterly devoid of boxes, livestock, watermelons, or anything else that would signify that work was about to be performed. The truck’s back gate flapped open in the wintertide breeze, revealing the stark, grimy emptiness within.

But the real marvel was the message emblazoned on the truck’s side, first in black spray paint, and then outlined in blaze orange, just for that extra oomph of emphasis. I clicked as best as I could, but, like many fledgling paparazzi, I acquired little more than a grainy half shot. (However, I captured neither a Britney cooch pic nor a Paris panty slip, so the image is a success, in my eyes.)



No, it is not, as it somewhat appears to be, a hunk of the Berlin Wall. The message, which none of you can decipher without your secret decoder ring, reads thusly:

“In My Opinion, Don’t Use Cingular”

And that’s when it dawned on me: This truck was being piloted by none other than Verizon’s Can You Hear Me Now? Guy, and he and his compatriot were on their way to pick up The Network, hence the lack of cargo stowed in the rear.

Sadly, the truck pulled away before I could confirm this speculation, so this new mass advertising campaign remains (for now) a mystery.